Well the first day of school was today! I had 22 smiling faces staring at me all day long and I am EXHAUSTED...I forgot for a moment what it was like to be standing all day long in heels and to have to re-teach what it means to raise your hand and make a good line as if they have never been in school before. I am happy to know that I have just as much love for these children as ever and was able to be with them in the moment, praising God for them and their precious-ness, and not just wondering why all of them are white lol! (or Chinese for that matter)Afterschool I went and got some of my pictures from Uganda printed ~ SO EXCITED. While I have completely settled back in to life at home and may not think of Uganda every minute, it still hits me quite often...usually quite suddenly too. It could be a comment from someone or something that sets off a flash of memory or a picture that can immediately bring me right back to sitting on that smelly cement with children in my lap and hanging on my back and dirty little hands in my hair. And then it just...hurts. It can be like a wave crashing over me, like an intense longing, a homesick feeling that immediately bring tears and causes me to put the pictures away for the moment. But in a way, I'm thankful for these moments...because it means I won't forget. It means that the children are still real and still so close to my heart and it reminds me to pray for them everyday. I praise the Lord in His faithfulness for not letting me forget, an answer to prayers really. Please continue to pray for them, as they're brought to your minds as well. They need your prayers; I know firsthand that they make a difference! A difficult moment came for me this past Sunday while sitting in orientation for Sunday School teachers. We were talking about what it means to be a mandated reporter as a teacher and how we are required by law to report if we have any reasonable cause to suspect abuse...which includes physical, sexual, neglect (such as malnourishment). Our children's pastor commented that she wanted to draw special attention to the words reasonable cause, which were in bold. Something just clicked in me right then and to be honest I don't think I heard much of the rest of that part of training. All I could hear echoing in my mind was "reasonable cause....reasonable cause". Yes! I have reasonable cause to think that these children have been neglected! They are malnourished! And its like my heart broke all over again thinking about how here it is my job to look out for my kids, to advocate for them. I am required by law to help them if I can, report, if I have any reasonable cause to suspect they are not being taken care of or abused. To think of how much I love these children in Tororo, do have "reasonable cause" to suspect, and yet cannot do anything about it is truly heartbreaking. I hope that we never take for granted some of the systems that we have set up here in the States, however imperfect they may be, that are created to protect our children. And I pray that we would all do our parts...whatever we can, even just through prayer (which is the best way!) to advocate for those children not being advocated for.

Babies at Smile

Peter and America

One of the things I loved at Smile was seeing how older brothers and sisters looked out for younger ones. Its amazing how kids will step up and look out for one another. At the same time, this could also be very hard to see, especially when it involved the little little ones. One thing that I don't know I ever got used to seeing.....naked children running around - yes...children pooping and peeing everywhere - yes...this-no........was seeing babies hanging out on the cement at the center of the compound. We're talking babies who can't even walk yet, maybe not even crawl, just chillin on the cement all day long. I mean, really???? Luckily I think probably mostly all of them had an older sister that would check in every once in awhile, if not sit and hold the baby for most of the day, make sure it got food at breakfast and lunch (which again, was porridge out of a cup for breakfast and rice off a plate for lunch, not exactly baby friendly)), and yes...I even witnessed a couple times an older sibling obtain a small roll of toilet paper from a teacher and attempt to clean up a mess their younger sibling had made on the cement. And by the way, when I say "older" sibling.....I could be talking about a child of 6 or 7 years old, maybe younger. This was one of those things that never quite became "normal" for me. This is why Evie's vision is so important. Evie is the almost 70 year old missionary who has been living in Tororo for 8 years (gotta love it!) She has a passion and a vision to see a baby room added on to Smile. I can attest for how important this really is for these babies to have a room separated from the rest of the kids to be cared for. It would also help the organization and setup of Smile in general and in turn benefit the older kids as well to not have all of these tiny ones all over the place. As we were there at Smile each day there were men working on the baby room but I know these things can be very slow coming so we are praying for that baby room to get finished!

CHURCH :)

Going to church on Sunday was a wonderful thing; I can honestly say that I was SO excited to go back. Which in a way, surprised me...because much of what I had heard regarding what it would be like to go back to church here were warnings about feeling like we don't really know how to "worship" here or feeling like our churches are so stoic compared to Africa's. But I think maybe I was excited because I just got such a taste of what "church" really is, of what the Kingdom really looks like. While I didn't struggle too greatly with these things that I was warned about, I did find myself having a harder time than I had anticipated. Being in church here made me yearn so much for the church and people in Uganda. But praise God it drove me to PRAY for them! And isn't that much of what this is about? I really feel like one of the biggest things the Lord has given me through my experience is a greater understanding of what it means to be a part of the body of Christ. The term "brothers and sisters in Christ" has always kind of held a sort of corny connotation for me. You know, very "cliche Christian". (Perhaps at least those of you that went to a Christian college know what I'm talking about?) Sure I know that technically when we accept Christ and enter His kingdom, we become brothers and sisters. But man! I don't think I really ever gave that concept much thought. Do you realize what an amazing thing this is?? I didn't fully understand what it meant to be brothers and sisters "in Christ" until I met the ones overseas. (Why did it take me going to Uganda to figure this out when we have brothers and sisters right here? Not quite sure.) And even now its very difficult for me to put into words what I'm trying to say...it was almost more of just this feeling inside of me. To see and meet and get to know these men and women and children who know the Lord, I felt that they really and truly are my brothers and sisters, way across the ocean....like just meeting long lost relatives. And thank God, He really knows what He is doing and has the perfect plan....because yes, leaving was very hard and very sad...but it gives a whole new meaning to the idea that one day, we will all be together again, worshipping the one true God. What a truly beautiful thing to look forward to. I can't wait for that day. And I'm forever grateful for getting to meet these brothers and sisters, because now I know how to pray for them, which is so important. Even though we can't all be together right now, we have a responsibility and a privilege to pray for one another and intercede for one another. Prayer works! It makes a difference. Instead of just praying for the nations, which is important, I now know the more specific needs to pray for ~ I've seen them. I know the names and the faces to pray for ~ I've met them and have loved them and played with them and talked with them. And I can hopefully relay these things to our brothers and sisters here at home.

One of my most memorable moments while in Uganda was visiting Pastor Peter's church. I think this church was probably more what one might envision when you think "African church". Although I have no idea what y'all envision (that was for you Christine) for African churches so let me explain. Pastor Peter's church is a small building...maybe more like a hut with straw and a tin roof about the size of...hmmm...my family room at home? A little smaller than a classroom? The adults sat in plastic chairs and the children all sat on mats on the floor. There was no stage. No lights. No band. No microphones. Just a drum and a shaker. And it seemed to be a very biblical, joyous, Spirit-filled church. When this congregation worshipped, they really did worship with all their hearts; their joy and gratitude shone through their shouts and smiles and clapping and dancing. It was like a great celebration! And the people were just so welcoming. And loving. They were truly JOYFUL to see us and have us. They received us as long lost relatives. We had learned during orientation that when asked to introduce ourselves at church it is important to bring greetings from our home church. Seemed to be a formality and just something to do because we knew we should....but when we did, let me tell you...these people were SO excited! They were excited to have greetings from you, my home church. Because they really understand you to be their family in Christ. They clapped and cheered for you! OH what we can learn from them! What a glorious thing to be a member of the family. So sitting Sunday morning at North River, enjoying being with the body of Christ, I reflected on what church is. Its not the building. Its not all the hoopla. Its not the programmed schedule and the events. Its the people. Its the fellowship. And its not isolated; we are the church with our family in Uganda and around the world. And we can marvel at God's creation. Just like individually He has given us unique gifts to contribute to the body, I believe each culture and each individual fellowship has unique strengths to contribute and different ways that they reflect His character. Just as we have things we could teach them and encourage them with, they have many many things to teach us. May we not forget we are one in Christ with our family in other countries and cultures, as well as right next door.

Isaiah 40:3-5, a few verses that have stuck with me since first arriving in Tororo:

A voice of one calling:

"In the desert prepare the way for the LORD; make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God. Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low;the rough ground shall become level, the rugged places a plain.
And the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all mankind together will see it. For the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

James 5:16

"We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing. 4Therefore, among God's churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring...With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. 12We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ."

2 Thessalonians 1: 3-4, 11-12

"Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others...Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality."

Romans 12: 4-5, 10-12

A few of the girls on the way to church one day: B, Kelly, Christine, and me

Allowing a few of the teachers to enter into our Dutch Blitz craze :)

The whole gang! 7 teachers, 1 Pastor Ruth, 1 chubby cheeked baby Hope, and 6 mzungus :)

Meet Elir.

Words cannot express how much I love and miss this little 7 year old

Meet Cyrus: Elir's older brother who he looks up to so much ~ an incredibly sweet 12 year old who has had to grow up pretty fast

Cyrus and Elir would walk partway home with us everyday into town; they walked a very far ways each day to get to and from Smile. They live with their mother; their father is no longer in the picture...Cyrus has memories of him beating their mother as well as him and his brother. I'm so thankful for him looking out for Elir and will continue praying for them each day.

It feels a little odd blogging after the experience is over but I suppose if anyone out there is still reading, its still important to me to try to convey the Lord's work I have seen, there and in me. I have also decided this is probably the only place that I could go on a month long missions trip to where the children have nothing but a rag on their back and can't afford to go to school (which is about $25 every 3 months) to going to a jewelry party the same week I get home where nothing is less than $40! What do you do with that, really. It really just shows the contrast of the cultures and how much we take for granted. I mean, one of those bracelets could send Juma to school for a year! And yet at the same time I found myself being tempted by how "beautiful" that jewelry was and actually getting caught in the relativity of it all....still knowing and loving Juma the whole time. A lot to think about right there. A few verses I had written down in my journal, about halfway through my trip:

"Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass he will pass away. For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits....You have lived on the earth in luxury and in self-indulgence." James 1:9-11; 5:5

We are the rich men, my friends.

A word about the children ~ Smile was started originally for the street children..the children Pastor Ruth had seen on the streets, who God broke her heart for; He took her obedience to His small promptings and turned it into something wonderful. There are many children at Smile who are double orphans..without a mother or father. Some of these children live with a grandmother or an aunt (its amazing how these African people work and are so hands on....some raising up to 10 children usually not all their own) and some live with the 2 cooks that are in charge of making all that food! One cook has about 40 children living with her and another has about 20 children living with her; Smile rents a small home for them. Some of the children have a mother, father, or both that are loving parents but that just can't provide for them. But the ones that really get me the most is the huge lump of children that do have a mother, father, or both but who are still neglected, whose parents don't care about them or take care of them. Maria and Abucha are two of those children. Joyce, the head teacher, was telling me about the different kinds of children at Smile and their families. I asked about Maria and Abucha because they had become two of my favorites. I was surprised to hear that they do still live with both parents...except their parents leave very early in the morning and don't come home until late at night...and by that time they are probably already drunk. This just tears my heart up. Here are 2 of the most precious little children, only 3 years old and 5 years old...created by God in His image, loving, joyful, terribly unique children...and they are left alone most of their days. Again, all I can see is God's faithfulness and love to them and I am just driven to praise Him in thanksgiving. Perhaps somewhat selfishly, I am thankful to God for giving me the absolute blessing of getting to know Maria and Abucha....knowing them, loving them, holding them, playing with them, the blessing was mine...a blessing I just don't understand how their parents could give up.

On the last day, I was devastated to realize that Abucha, in his 3 year old-ness, hadn't realized this was the last chance to say goodbye and had jetted out of Smile the minute they rung that bell at 4:00. I had a moment of panic, frantically searching through all of the faces, not willing to succumb to the idea that I wouldn't get to say goodbye to him. It was pretty much one of the worst feelings ever. I never did find him before having to leave that day. However, looking back on it, I realized that my Father was looking out for me; He really had given me a beautiful last moment with Abucha. Sometime within the last hour of the afternoon at Smile that day, Abucha had somehow found me as he always had a way of doing. I picked him up and was just holding him...and he started softly singing to me in Swahili. It was such a beautifully quiet and loving moment, the tears stared to roll down my cheeks...and in response he didn't stop singing, he continued while gently wiping my tears away. This 3 year old! I told him "me panda wewe" (I love you in Swahili) and he sweetly said it back to me. And that was it. I know now that moment was nothing but a gift. Reading back through my journal, I found an entry written 4 days before we were to leave Smile that ended with a prayer that the Lord would bless those last days with great love and memories that blow us away and that I would be able to savor each moment.. because I had come to love that place and people and to think of leaving just hurt. All the glory to Him for answered prayers :)

Maruck, Juma, Blessing, and Allan

Teacher Joyce on the way home one day, carrying Hope

Some of the other teachers ~ Stella, Steven, and Willy

Boys being silly and making me laugh :)

Dance Partyyyy ~ a little of the joy I've been speaking of!

Class for the younger kids ~ Abucha is the one with the pink flower behind his ear facing the wrong way lol

~ aftermath ~

Sometimes its hard to believe that I'm home and that I actually did spend 1 month in Tororo, Uganda. Sometimes it almost feels like it was a dream...I hope that I never get into the groove of the busyness here and forget the wonderful experience the Lord in His grace allowed me to have. As I sit and think how is it possible to get down in writing all that it entailed and meant to me, I keep coming back to one thing...the Lord's faithfulness. He was faithful to call me there, with 5 wonderful girls, to get me there, to work in me and through me there...He is more than worthy of our trust and obedience! He is faithful to His people, here in the States and just as much overseas. He's faithful to His children in Tororo, and I can find comfort in His faithfulness to the children that I love so dearly and miss so excruciatingly sometimes. Jesus loves the little children...all the children of the world...that song makes me smile now because I know that its true. I know that the Lord is the same God here and there and He loves those children the same that He loves our children here. I see it in the provision He gives them. I see it in the hopes and dreams that He gives them. I see it in the joy He gives them....joy that can ONLY come from Him. Because of His love and mercy and grace. If you could see these children's lives...how they hunger for love and attention....and their happiness, how they can still laugh and play and love each other. That is a true gift from the Lord and it truly goes to show that without a doubt true joy and happiness do NOT come from money, material things, even security in worldly aspects. They can't ~ there's no way. Reflecting on the Lord's love for His children, I know that this is where He would dwell, where He DOES dwell...among the orphaned, among the poor. And I am humbled that He allowed me to spend the time that I did with them. There is much we can learn from them. I know that the love I received from them and the love I was able to give to them comes from our Father in Heaven, for He is love. (1 John 4: 7-21) And yet I think that part of His provision for them is in our obedience...we need to be obedient and do our part as part of His plan to provide for them. May we live lives characterized by faith, love, and obedience.

And in light of that, allow me to introduce you to a few of the best little children I know, who have stolen a piece of my heart:

Eli....love that little smile!!

Juma, 12 years old, wants to be a pastor ~ praise God!! It was a privilege to get to see the Lord working in his heart

Peter, our in house drummer :) And by drum I mean empty water jug and a stick....He would start playing and would instantly have a group of joyful little dancers around him!

Hungry for the Word!! Reading with Allan and Juma ~ the one on my lap is Christine...she is probably about 2 or 3 but looks about 1 year old. She is so very skinny and can't walk though she should be able to. Continue to pray for her health and well being! Her smile is simply precious ~

Lunchtime! :)

Abucha, mentioned earlier...man I miss him with everything in me!! Quite the little character

Being goofy ~ the creativity of these kids is incredible!

"Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." ~ James 1:16-17 ~

More thoughts soon to come ~ Blessings!

So its our last night here in Uganda. Which is just crazy ~ our time went by so fast. I am sad to be leaving and I wish I had more time, but I am excited to share stories and pictures with you all when I get home! :) Its hard to not be able to write for awhile....where would I even start?? We debriefed with Karen here at the Matoke Inn and it was great to be able to sit and reflect on all that God has done in the past 4 weeks. I am truly grateful that He had called each of us on this team here, for His work when we could see it and even when it was behind the scenes...for His faithfulness and love. My plan is to sit down and write a bit more about our time there especially over the past couple weeks and hopefully get a few pictures up when I get home. Goodbyes went well but were very difficult. I still can't really look through my pictures yet! I miss them so much. Again, thank you so much for your prayers...even with a bit of a rough spot the last couple days, they were truly answered and felt and we are very grateful. Tomorrow will be spent traveling...we'll be getting up in about 5 hours to head off to the airport at Entebbe. We're praying for a smooth flight and no delays or anything because we have less than 2 hours to catch the next one in London! If all goes well, we should land in New York about 8:30 tomorrow night. Annnd Monday I get to see Holly and Rachel when they pick me up! Very excited :) In the meantime, a couple pictures courtesy of B and Kelly's blogs:

Smile Africa :) Children that are each named and loved by the Lord

Eli, mentioned in a previous blog